As The Butter Churns

December 25th Denise Navidad

 
  (Juan Valdez ready for the season)
 

    Except for sawing our tree down, my advent calendar and putting up the lights on the house I’ve practically ignored the holidays. No reason except for our unrelenting schedule and the little matter of an empty pocket book. I have squirreled a way a few things for Quinn and Phoebe but other than that it’s pretty spare. 

Oh, we’re eeeking by but the gifts this year like the last couple of years, are mostly homemade. Henry unfortunately, dropped last year’s big gift, his orange ipod nano, in the mud when he was opening up the gate one morning and so as he put it “Merry Christmas – Again”. He’s getting the same thing. Not exciting, but we couldn’t afford to just buy things double.

I was discussing this with the sanitation lady while explaining to her my payment would be a little late this month, “these days it really has to be the thought that counts.” 

“You’re not kidding,” she wholeheartedly agreed as she marked my account intends to pay, giving me extra time, “and isn’t that a good lesson for all of us.” As I hung-up I considered us – U.S. and realized that people talk more. Strangers chatting about the economy, their own troubles and people are not judgmental as they might have been in the haughty eighties. The haves looking down their noses at the have-nots, but rather people are empathetic willing to let you pay late or confide they have sent out “75 resumes and not even had the courtesy of a response”. Those with jobs feel blessed and those without would humble themselves to do things like cut cheese, mop floors and make sandwiches despite their previous six figure incomes. “And Denise, don’t feel badly, next year is going to be better for all of us,” said the nice nameless lady from the trash company. 

Of course, the spirit of season remains. Henry, Nick and I surprisingly were invited to three holiday parties in the space of eighteen hours. I didn’t really expect the boys would have a good time. They didn’t know anyone and I wasn’t sure there would be anyone their age to talk to, but I made them go with me anyway, after all this is not a democracy, but a benevolent dictatorship. “And no Christmas attire, please,” was my fashion edict.

Our first stop on the party circuit was Marla Braunstein’s Chanukah party. We drove up and searched for blocks to find a parking space. We all walked tentatively to the front door. We knew no one.

“Um Mom? This is a Chanukah party right? Menorahs, candles?” Henry asked already knowing the answer.

“Yes.  You know it is. Why?” I asked walking down the street.

“There’s a big guy over there with a giant Santa hat on,” Henry said pointing to the backyard.

“And don’t even tell people I’m Jewish,” Nick said guardedly.

"Uh, Nick, you're not going to be the only one who is Jewish." Henry said.

“I won’t. I’m not going to put you on the spot,” I reassured my self-conscious teen.

"Jesus was Jewish," Henry continued.

"Can we leave Jesus out of this tonight?" I pleaded. "There is plenty of time for Christmas, this is Chaunukah".

The sign on the door said to come in and so we did. I hadn’t been to a party so crowded since the Sigma Chi house during rush week. “Boys we don’t have to stay long, thanks for coming with me.” We made our way through the crowd and jockeyed for a position on the food table. I was determined to get a good spot for my whiskey mocha bread.

“Party rule number 1. Don’t ever drink from a cup you didn’t see poured, your mother was given Everclear in her beer. That one you’ve heard, but the lesser known party rule is take some sort of drink so you have something to hold. 

“I’m not thirsty,” Henry argued.

“I don’t care. Take a drink.”

“Dude, just take a drink,” Nick encouraged and of course Henry complied.

 (The "Gefilte" fish)
 

We made our way past the latke production toward the tents in the backyard where we ran into my dad’s music friend, Chad wearing the big giant Santa hat. I felt so local bumping into someone I already knew. Marla Braunstein as it happens is the sister of a sorority sister of mine. Marla, by coincidence, lives in Bellingham, but we’d never actually met in person.

Marla was charming and gracious, Chad was funny and accommodating introducing me to various women who stopped by to say hello to Santa.

 (Marla and another bitter ex-Catholic -Chad Peterson-  a musician friend of my father's- aka Grandpa Horn)

 (some of the libations)

 (Marla's house)

 (festive towels)

 (Marla's Latke prep)

 (a blury Denise and Marla with Chad's rabbit ears in the background)

 Nick and I got the very last latke. We shared it in the crisp air near a very toasty heater. Marla had a candle lighting ceremony. True to my word, I offered to leave after about twenty minutes or so, but every time I checked with Henry and Nick they wanted to stay a bit longer. Henry sat across the yard from me eavesdropping on some teenage boys and after awhile insinuated himself into the group. Nick loitered nearby assessing Henry’s efforts. We stayed for hours and had a really good time. 

The next morning we wore our Christmas gear. I assembled my tasty Weight Watcher™ type treat– pineapple cut into sections with huge globe grapes affixed with toothpicks. It looked as if Samantha Stevens might have served it to Darren, a little sixties, but it tasted delicious. Nick couldn’t help but snatch a few as we headed to my sister’s annual Cookie Decorating Party. I glanced over at Henry who was pasting pretzels on a house cutout forming a log cabin and when I looked over at Nick he was drizzling pink frosting on a cookie with unadulterated glee. Go figure. I thought I was going to get the complete teenage angst over spending time decorating cookies. Never underestimate the power of girls.

An opportunist, I decorated a plate of cookies to bring to the final leg of our journey – The Everybody’s Store staff party where we were going to meet up with Sherry, Alexis, Fred, Chayse and the whole Everybody’s Store gang for dinner before we went home.

 (My multi-holiday cookies)
 

 (Sherry's homemade blackberry jelly)
 

All and all, we were flung pell-mell into the holiday mood. Tom and I had decided not to get each other gifts so I didn’t really have to worry about that one.  We each chose people in the family to make presents for. I was to do Lisa & Chris while he took Annie (Nana). Lucky Annie.

 (the beginning of the hummin  (more hummingbird and flower) (hummingbird coming along)

 (This year we went to Assumption instead of Sacred Heart - seems to me we're always in search of a parish like our beloved Saint Monica's)
 

    Christmas Eve after Mass, while we sipped Wassail and savored a delightful cheese, “Windsor Delice” made with a sweet wine and served with delicate rosemary crackers. I had actually wanted to bring a Bavarian Blue – an unusual triple cream brie with streaks of blue cheese running throughout, truly heavenly, but unfortunately some undeserving couple came in the store and bought a chunk. I wouldn’t be so bitter and say they were enjoying it, but actually, they didn’t seem to like it at all. In fact, they split a slice in half seemingly purchasing it only begrudgingly.

Annie opened her present, there were “ooos and ahhhs” as Mike, Phoebe, Quinn and everyone gathered around the hummingbird watercolor. I saw the look on my sister’s face as she assessed the painting. She noted the TR signature. “Annie, I’m not sure you noticed, Tom painted it.” Lisa pointed to his signature.

“Oh my GOSH, you did!” Annie exclaimed appreciatively.

 Not wanting my sister to get her hopes up I had to apologize. “Lis – I just want you to know, I made your present.”

“Uhhhh, did you paint me a painting?” She laughed nervously. “Maybe you baked me something delicious,” she said more hopefully.

They served a lovely tri-tip for dinner Annie and Chris cooked for dinner, they served interesting wines and Lisa whipped up a chocolate mousse she served in crystal glasses for dessert. Henry loves Lisa for her chocolate.

 (Team Donaldson's Christmas tree)
 

As the evening wound down, I sat by my sister looking at their tree. “Despite what you, Mom and Aunt Lana believed. A Christmas tree can have too many lights. I over did it this year. I wanted a nice glow, not Dodger Stadium,” she said critically.

“Oh I don’t know. I think your tree looks like it could be in a window at Macy’s,” I said. 

“That’s a slam. I know you and that is a slam. Don’t try to tell me anything differently.” I smiled discreetly into my glass of wine. It was a slam. It looked too something, too ribbon art directed perfectly around and around.

“I have no room to talk I couldn’t even find my ornaments in the shop and I just gave up. So we have six, count them six ornaments on the largest Charlie Brown Christmas tree that ever was.”

“You know the first year you cut down your tree I felt badly because you did it for lack of money, but now I think it’s great. Such an event, we’d like to come out and cut ours down out there next year. Maybe we can plant some Nobles for you too. For future Christmases.”

Christmas was panettone homespun chai french toast, endless bacon strips, bottomless coffee and lots of chatter. What presents we had we opened in the kitchen while we cooked and chatted. Then when the last goose egg was eaten, Mike who’d come up from Tacoma for the vacation, Tom, Henry and I tidied up the house for the Donaldson’s arrival and overnight stay. Henry blew up the air mattresses June had given us this summer. Mike swept, Tom cooked and I bat clean-up. As I mopped the floor in the game room I looked at my screwball tree and I liked him. He had personality.

 (our Charlie Brown Christmas tree- not that I like the Peanuts - because I do not)
 

 (ready to make french toast)

 (Vivian and Emmett)
 

 (Tom surprised me with a watercolor of one of my favorite photographs of Henry in Williamsburg- he was in a tree watching a re-enactment - portrait of childhood)
 

We ate. We talked and we drank like people who knew no one was going to have to drive or get up in the morning. Then we played game after game after game of Apples to Apples™ and we laughed until we fell asleep.  Another family Christmas.

 (Irish Tom's new Snuggie™)

 (Irish yawns in Tom's new Christmas Snuggie™)
 

December 21st Three's A Crowd

 (Baby Huey?- chicken eggs and one - egg we found in the turkey pen - not sure if it's a turkey egg or a goose egg)

It was a mild mannered day at the Everybody’s store. Alexis and I were selling all sorts of exotic holiday cheeses like Wynsleydale, Nokkelost and Geitost until a striking woman came in and leaned over the counter looking me straight in the eye.

“I’m Bellingham P.D. and we have a situation.” I stood silently waiting for an explanation. “We’re going to need your parking lot as a staging area. There’s a problem up the road.”

“Thank you for telling me.” I said wondering what the situation could be.

“We didn’t want you to think it had anything to do with the store.” She said as she strode out of the door without any further information. I relayed what I knew to Alexis who was sweeping up something in the back.

“Crack house?” He suggested.

“Probably.” I agreed and we went back to selling cheese and last minute stocking stuffers like jaw breakers, ceramic kissing Santa Claus and Mrs. Santa Claus salt and pepper shakers, spices for mulled wine and magnetic bracelets for improving arthritis. We saw more than twenty police cars and an armored vehicle scream by. Some cars with just their lights on and others with sirens full blast.

 (some of our cheeses)

 (our 100-year-old cheese slicer we use for everything)

 (some more cheeses including the Huntsman far left - yum- double gloucester layered with stilton)

 (jawbreakers - we carry three sizes)

Not being able to take the suspense any longer and knowing Acme General Store has a police scanner I dialed their number. “Hey, this is Denise at Everybody’s, do you guys know what’s going on?”

“You guys must have a heck of a lot of police cars over there,” the voice said laughingly.

“We sure do. Why?”

“Well, a guy shot some kid in Bellingham earlier this morning and a police helicopter tracked his car to Wild Rose Lane. But he’s ditched it. They’re going house to house, but think maybe he’s trying to go over the dike to Mosquito Lake Road.”

“Really.” I said not too worried, after all Mosquito Lake Road is fourteen miles long. I relayed the information again to Alexis and we went back to counting cop cars and selling cheese.  As customers streamed in we got dribs and drabs about what was going on. Until Joyce, a fairly close neighbor of mine, only about three miles away said she’d heard there had been trouble on Mosquito Lake Road.

“You know you can see your house from the top of the Van Zandt Dike,” Alexis mentioned.

“You can?” I guess I didn’t realize we were so close as the crow flies. My phone vibrated. I had a message:

“Mama? The police just called and told me there is an armed gunman in the area of our house and to stay inside and lock the doors. I have to say this is making me a little bit nervous.”

“Alexis? I’ve got to go. Henry got a call from the police to stay inside. Nick went back to Mammoth for Christmas this morning so Henry'’s home by himself.”

“Go. Go. We’re fine here.” Grabbing my purse, out the door I fled. I saw a policeman sitting in his car in the parking lot, so I stopped to ask him how much validity there was and to find out how nervous I should be, but just as I was asking him another police car pulled up requesting back-up and they both went speeding off in the direction of my house.

I called Henry. “Just lock yourself in the house with the dogs, Honey.”

“I’m in your room with all the doors locked and I have all the dogs in here with me. Can you honk three times when you get home so I know it’s you and you’re ok.”

“Sure,” I told him as I drove closer. I called Tom and apprised him of the situation.

“Can you call Henry while I drive home. He’s nervous.”

As I drove I wondered what good I really was going to be to Henry other than sacrificing myself for him. I mean I don’t have a gun so what would I do? My friend, Franz, and just about everybody else has been after me to get something to protect myself and I really want to, but I’ve had so many nightmares where Henry gets killed with it that I have a hard time making that purchase. I passed the “situation”. I counted 30 police cars, a bunch of undercover vehicles; two helicopters a few armored vans, dogs and SWAT teams waiting. As I turned onto Mosquito Lake Road there was no doubt there was big trouble brewing. At every logging road was an armed policeman who looked intently at me holding an assault rifle. It was eerie. I kept driving.  Wondering what I’d do if I was this fugitive. He was from the area and fairly young so he probably knew the family with 15 kids that used to live in our house. Which meant he knew we had out buildings. If he was a farm boy he knew that a barn probably had water and heat lamps this time of year. A woman alone and a barn was a pretty good hideout if you asked me. I kept driving, when I got to the gate I honked three times and let myself in. As I parked the car I wondered how the gunman would get himself out of here. And it occurred to me that hiding in my van holding my son at gunpoint would work fairly well. He could hide in the back where I put the hay and have a tarp. I rang the doorbell and Henry opened the upstairs window.

“You didn’t honk three times.” He accused.

“I did too at the gate.”

“Oh. I didn’t hear you over the TV and the dogs.”

“Can you let me in?”

“Are you alone?” He said scanning the area.

“Yes! Now get down here and let me in.” He came to the door with a large LED Maglite, and an air horn strapped to him as well as a large kitchen knife.

“It’s a good thing you’re here mom. If he came in I was ready to go all Home Alone on him.” I laughed thinking the gunman would regret having to deal with Henry.

 (Henry ready for action)

 (flashlight)
 
 

I called Amy warning her to get her rear-end over here when she got home “and don’t pick-up any hitchhikers either. You got that?”

“Yeah, I know right. I’ll be over Mother Hen.” Amy laughed without the proper concern. The laugh of a twenty-year-old who doesn’t believe anything bad can really happen.

“You’d better. You don’t have a weapon, a phone or anything. You’re the perfect place to hideout.”

“I’ll be fine, but oh all right.”

Before she arrived, I wondered what I would do if our fugitive would show up. I decided I could stash Henry in the large pile of dirty clothes in the laundry room like they did in “Zorro”. This dragging my feet on the laundry thing was now working out for me. Mental note: Always keep a pile of laundry handy in case of an armed fugitive. I felt vindicated.

Since Irish had been useless against the cougar, Henry and I took Vivian, the ferocious, but snuggly Rottweiler, to the barn with us to feed the animals before dark. Henry was armed with his Maglite and I had the air horn. 

 (Vivian looking powerful)

 

When we walked outside we were shocked to find Poor Richard and Franklin surrounded by the other animals. When we got closer we found they were covered in blood. Fighting over Silence who was standing coyly nearby.

Franklin had blood spewing out of his mouth and Richard was bleeding all over his head. It was ugly.  Ferocious. We put Franklin in the turkey pen and Richard in the goose pen and ran back in the house to get some water to clean them up. When we got back with some rags we found Richard had flown the coop as it were and was fighting to the death with Franklin through the gate of the turkey pen. My two boys who’d been friends just that morning were about to kill themselves over a girl. Confirming my long held belief that testosterone is a mind-numbing drug.

 (Barnyard brawl -Franklin and Richard twisted together in the center)

 (Silence and the fighting intertwined Toms - Richard and Franklin)

 (Franklin covered in blood)

 (Henry ready to check the hay room for intruders)

“Don’t be a Dick.” Henry said as he pulled Richard unwrapping his neck from around Franklin putting him in the small refrigerator room. Sadly, we realized we were going to have to get rid of one of them.

When things calmed down, we listened but heard nothing unusual. It was a warm evening for a winter night and so a kid who knew these mountains could find shelter and drink out of a stream without much of a problem.

When Amy arrived I sat everyone down and decided to come up with a plan.

“He’s not going to come here,” Amy insisted.

“Well, if we have a plan he won’t but if we don’t have a plan he’ll be on our doorstep."

"Um why would he come here?" Amy questioned.

"Because we've got out buildings and he might be familiar with the property if he knew any of the kids who used to live here. I was a Girl Scout, I read 52 Nancy Drew books and I’m a victim of a violent crime - having been held at gunpoint for a few hours. I like to be prepared,” I said, ending that discussion.

 First we agreed that “Deli” was our red alert code. If anyone mentioned Deli or having anything to do with Deli, that meant there was trouble. Secondly, we decided if the guy showed up we’d offer him a bowl of Weight Watchers soy chili and act as though we had no idea he was wanted. Thirdly, I called Tom and my sister and told them the Deli code.

 (Luther shares Amy's relaxed attitude)
 

“But what if the kid doesn’t know he didn’t actually kill the other kid?” My sister asked rationally. “He might think he’s wanted for murder and has nothing to lose.”

“You have a point. I’ll have to see I guess. Hopefully, he’s been caught.” I said.

But he was not caught that night. I called the Everybody’s Store in the morning to see if they had any news. Jeff answered, “Oh yeah, that’s Dave Wilhelm’s boy. His mother’s a professor and his father’s an artist. He paints and makes things out of wood like kayaks. He makes beautiful things. You never know what your kids are going to do,” he said wistfully in his deep booming voice.

Later I ran into Fred, the high school senior who works at the Everybody’s store and who is helping me edit 13 hours of video. “Hey Denise. I know I should be home working on your project.”

 (Fred working)
 

“Yes, you should,” I laughed. “Have you heard anything about this fugitive, Noah?”

“Yeah, I’m friends with his brother. And I know the guy he shot.”

“Is he ok? What happened? Was it drugs? What?”

“Yeah he’s awake now. No, they’d been friends. It was over Noah’s ex-girlfriend.”

What a bunch of turkeys.

 

 

 

December 16th The Nose Goes

 (Deli's nose knows- everything)
 

Henry and I were sitting in my room snug as two bugs in a rug. He was reading Robin Hood and I was writing when the phone rang. It was Gretchen. Gretchen is good friends with my friend Jenny who lives in New York. Gretchen lives in Seattle and so Jenny thought it might be nice if we got to know each other.

 (Gretchen Bell)
 

            “Denise you absolutely won’t believe this, but I’ve found a home for Deli and they want her immediately. Tomorrow if you can handle it. “

            “Really?” I hadn’t even been actively looking for a home for Deli in quite some time so this call came as a complete surprise.

            “Yes!” Gretchen went on excitedly. “My friend was talking to friends of hers and happened to mention Deli and it seems this family had a coon hound and absolutely loves coon hounds. I gave them your number so they may be calling you tonight.”

            “Wow, well OK. I’ll be here. Thanks Gretchen it’s so sweet of you to keep looking. I feel so guilty though giving her away but Deli is cooped up in the house so much, she lives like a prisoner. I know it’s the best thing for her,” I confessed and we hung up.

            I explained the situation to Henry and tears filled his eyes, as he looked at her asleep in her dog bed next to us. “I know she needs another family. She’s so shy and doesn’t ask for attention like the other dogs. Irish hits you with his big shillelagh. Rat Bat just jumps on you and snuggles in. Luther lays on you and Vivian shoves her nose in and licks you until you pet her, but Deli stands off in the distance waiting for you to call her name and Mama, I forget to call her name.”

            “Well, the others demand so much attention, even Emmett worms his way in and Deli stands to the side like a wallflower. She needs to be an only dog or one of just a couple. Maybe a cat?”

            “She loves kitties.” Henry said cheerfully.

Later that evening we got a call from the potential new family. We talked about schedules, fences, killing poultry, vaccines, microchips, electric fences and the essence of Deli. They were sold.

            “We have a unique living situation. You see, I work during the day; I’m a pre-school teacher. I live in an apartment.  My husband works nights and has a house. We raise our son together and Delta will go back and forth between us so she’ll really never be alone. Can we come get her tomorrow?” She asked.

            “Tomorrow? Um, well…” I stammered looking over at Henry who was shaking his head and waving his arms.

            “Absolutely not!” He whispered loudly. “She is not going with them until I get a good look at them and I have gymnastics.”

            “You know, tomorrow my son, Henry, has gymnastics and he really wants to be there. Can you wait until Saturday and I can meet you in Everett?” I suggested.

            “Well, OK, Saturday it is. We’re just so anxious.” She explained. “Can you hold on? Without waiting for my answer she handed the phone to her husband.

            “Denise? Just wanted to assure you we’ll give her a good home. You know we had a hound, a black and tan named Henry. We saw the pictures of Delta Blue and I think she’s beautiful.”

            “I’m so happy. This is really hard for me, she was my father’s dog and he moved to Paris. He’s been gone a year and half now and she’s just not done well on the farm. She killed a turkey and a couple of rabbits and had a duck in her mouth. Life on the farm just doesn’t make sense she’s a runner. In the house though, she’s a real couch potato and very loving. She has the softest ears, like velvet drapes.” I explained emotionally.

            “Well, we’re really ready for another dog and we can’t wait to meet her,“ he assured me before hanging up.

            I looked over at Deli, Delta Blue, and felt misty. I knew this was the best thing, but I was tortured. I knew my father would be broken-hearted and I felt as though I was betraying him somehow.  Henry and I pet her on the bed and the three of us fell asleep.

            The next morning, getting ready for school we talked about the idea of her getting plenty of attention, of being an only or almost only dog. A boy after all was going to have a new dog he could love and they were bananas to get her. We felt better and I wrote my father to tell him what was going on. I prepared myself for his emotional response.

            True to form, I could feel the tears running down my father’s face as I read his reaction to Deli’s potential new home. Of course, he was understanding and supported me. He knew I’d tried. He then wrote me a few suggestions.

Dearest Denise-a-la:

 

I think you've done and thought of everything.  Make certain they have a collar and ID badge for her the day she arrives with "Deli", phone number, etc.  Make sure they use a nice medium-weight choke collar.  Remember, she can pull out of a regular collar on a leash and be--gone! Once the nose starts to go her hearing absolutely turns off and that’s it she’s gone. Gone!

 

They have really got to stay on top of her for a month or two until she gets to know the residences and neighborhoods... and can't let her alone on a long rope without have a choke collar on her.

 

Does the guy's house have a yard?

 

As for me, there is no way I am going to visit her.  I'll love her for what we had and from the pictures you get from friends.  Deli might be able to handle it after a while but not your father.

 

Hugs & Love,

Me

 

         We were all making peace with the decision. I did as instructed getting Deli a new collar, a rawhide Christmas present and a bag of food to take with her. While I was running errands the phone rang.

 (Deli in PetCo)

 (Deli and her treats)

 (Delta BLUE's new tag being engraved)

 (Deli - messing around in PetCo)

            “Hey Denise, I’m sorry to push this, but could we possibly get her sooner than Saturday. I have to very disappointed guys here,” Chryssa said.

            “Well, you see my son has gymnastics in Burlington in the evenings and he really wants to be there to say good-bye to Deli.” I explained slowly. After all we were making a life change here.

“We’d be happy to drive to Burlington,” she chirped without missing a beat.

“Do you know how much farther Burlington is than Everett. I can still meet you in Everett on Saturday,” I reassured her.

“No, no, no, the distance is fine. We don’t mind at all. We’ll just all pile in the car after I get off work at 4:00PM. Delta Blue is absolutely worth it and we’re so anxious. We’ll see you tomorrow then in Burlington at Henry’s gymnastics after about 6:00PM OK? I’m sorry am I pushing too much.”

“No, no I think it’s good. I’m glad you’re so excited,” I replied. “See you tomorrow then.”

“They’re getting her tomorrow?” Henry asked sullenly. “I want to meet them. I told you that.”

“No. They’re coming to gymnastics so you can be there.”

“They must really want her,” Henry said thoughtfully. “We better call the girls and let them know. They might want to see her before she goes.”

There was a flurry of preparations. A new collar, dog tag, dog food and super-duper gargantuan bone. We gathered her dog, bed and coat so she would have her things that smelled familiar smells.

After work I couldn’t face going to get her so I called Amy and she met me at the corner of Mosquito Lake Road and the 9.

“She knows something’s up,” Amy said as walked over to my van. “She’s acting very perky.”

 (Amy - her truck "Gunner" and Delta Blue - aka Deli aka Wacktilda)
 

            I hoped she would be happy and smothered with love. I hoped she would get the love and attention she used to get from my dad before he left. I hoped she wouldn’t be scared. I hoped she wouldn’t feel abandoned as I pet her soft ears. I loved her ears in between my fingers. They were soft and tickly.

            I picked Henry up from school and we stopped at Wendy’s for a snack. Naturally, Deli needed a good-bye treat. Or two.

 (Good-byes are always hard - Deli & Henry)

 (Deli enjoys the ride)

 (a little treat is in order)

 (Deli taking her burger)
 

            It seemed like an eternity until “they” arrived, but when they did it seemed too soon. Henry spotted them from across the gym and called me over. “Uhhh, Mom? It’s time.”

            I think I spoke a mile a minute explaining every last nuance about her. “She can dig and climb so I wouldn’t leave her alone in a yard unless you’re absolutely sure she can’t escape.”

            “We’ll be leash walking her anyway.” Jim said. “You see, I have to take a thirty-minute walk everyday. She’ll be a good companion.”

“What do you do that you’re out at night?” I pried. I felt a little nosey, but after all this was Deli and I knew my dad was going to want to know too.

 (Jim, Canon, Deli and Henry)

 (Henry, deli and Chryssa)

  (Deli and her new boy, Canon)

“I’m a classical guitarist.” Another musician! “And I’m currently not working. In fact, I don’t have any real plans to work for about six months.” Ahh, the son’s name was Canon not Cannon, my light bulb was turning on.

            I sat back and watched them with her. They were cuddly and Deli was wagging her tail. They thought she was spectacular and snuggled her and pet her as they cooed her name. “Ahhh, Delta Blue” Chryssa said.

            “Call her Deli mom, she likes it better. Don’tcha Deli-girl?” Canon insisted taking the leash from his mother.

 (Henry interviewing the family as he explains all of Deli's quirks)
 

            Henry came over to me. We stood there observing them for a few moments when he whispered. “They seem to really love Wacktilda don’t you think?” I nodded in agreement. “And she seems to really like them,” he added. I put my arm around him and squeezed.

            I’m doing the right thing. I’m doing the right thing. I’m doing the right thing I chanted in my head. Keeping her would be selfish and silly. “You know if there are any problems at all. We’ll take her back. Just give me a call.” I said breezily. Chryssa came over and hugged me.

            “We’re sorry, to do this to you,” she said empathetically.

            “No. Thank you. This is a good thing. Really. I think Deli is going to be very happy.” I said as Jim closed the hatch of their car and climbed in. The entire back was cushioned into a bed for Deli and Canon. As they  drove off I didn’t see Deli looking at me longingly through the back window, as I would have imagined. Instead, she was facing forward  -  tail wagging.

            

 

December 7th Tree Topper

 (Edward and Alexander nuzzle)

Like some sort of crazed elf I got my not-so-perfect icicle lights up the day after Thanksgiving. In turn I like to put up the Christmas tree on December 1^st to coincide with the commencement of the advent calendar. This way I can eek out every single moment of the Christmas season, but after last year’s Yuletide adventure, and our recent below freezing temperatures, I didn’t want to go out into the forest if there was even the slightest chance of it getting dark.

Luckily, the boys had early release from school today, which meant we could finally go out and get some Holiday cheer. I informed both of them to be ready to jet home after school so we could have a snack and get out there.

“After some Mac & cheese then can we go?” Nick pleaded.

“We’re starving,” Henry added. Awesomez (pronounced Awesome – EZ) and I agreed since I had a bunch of winter chores like putting a de-icer in the cow trough and moving the goat and sheep water trough to the Kubota barn where I could plug in a de-icer for them while they’re out during the day.

 (Denise, Silence my faithful companion - and a lot of ice)

 (now there's water under the Kubota barn)
  

 (cow trough)
 

 (Bruno proves one man's trash...) 

 (Nick- napping again- taking lessons from a professional- Luther- Bruno also pictured)
 

 (Henry is ready to go get a tree)
 

By the time we got back, Henry was ready to go, but Nick had slipped into a deep, deep sleep on the sofa in the family room.  And as hard as we prodded there was no budging Nick.

We couldn't wait for Nick to get up we'd lose our daylight. Henry fired up the tractor, Awesomez had Irish and I had my limb saw in hand. iWe set out with all the dogs. First we went to the pond to assess the ice. When we arrived we found the geese frolicking in the bit of water that was still liquid. Stopping to watch them for a while, Henry threw rocks out to see how thick the ice was. Surprisingly it was able to withstand some hard throws and some big rocks.

     (an Awesome-ez popsicle)
 

     (Henry lets one fly)
  (getting thick)

 (Possible tree)

 (Irish tied up in his own lead)
 

Worrying about the time, we pushed on going slowly so we could look discriminatingly at different types of conifers We checked out firs, pines, hemlocks and cedars. Rejecting many we finally settled on a possibility. A very tall tree so tall Awesomez was shocked.

“Really? That one? It won’t even fit in your house,” she implored.

“Well, you see if you look at it, you have to cut it. Right there. Otherwise it isn’t very full,” I explained pointing at the tree.

“Where did all the dogs go?” Henry worried. “You never know where Karen is, I’m going to go look for them,” he told us as he hopped off the tractor. We followed reflexively. I didn’t like him alone in the forest. It’s that one time you don’t worry that you should have. So I worry all the time.

“Karen’s the cougar,” I explained and she nodded.

“I remember.”

Henry had run a head and was returning with Vivian, Luther and Bruno by the time we got to the top of the hill.

“What about this one?” Awesome-ez wondered pointing to a really great tree.

“Awwwwe that’s perfect!” Henry exclaimed. “Let’s get this one!”

 (Henry with Luther and Vivian)

 (Henry to the left of the proposed tree)

“Sounds good to me,” I agreed, “It’s close to the path and it should fit pretty well in the bucket. You know, it’s about the right size for the game room as is.” I marveled. “Good eye! Lis Let’s get it down.” I said walking up and putting my saw into action. In just a moment it was down. In another it was in the bucket and we were in theory on our way.

 (taking it down)

 (Almost done)

 (the tree it's mine!)

 (Me - loading the tree while Henry drives)

“I can’t see over the tree.” Henry lamented.

“We can hold a stick up in front of you and you can just guide the tractor toward the stick.” Awesome-ez suggested.

“OK. Let’s do it.” Henry agreed readily. Although in short order it became clear that wasn’t going to work. He just couldn’t maneuver the tractor and see the stick and keep the tree balanced on the bucket. Awesom-ez offered to take over and Henry agreed giving Awesom-ez a quick refresher course about the controls and we were off once again.

 (Awesom-ez and the direction stick)

 (Lisa's got her stick)

 (ready to go now)

 (Henry's got the stick and Irish as Awesom-ez follows with the tree)

Our parade moved slowly down the steep hill and past the spot that spelled disaster for us last year. Thinking back I realized I’d meant to price winches this year. I really had to get on that. It ‘s something you don’t’ think about until you need it like a flashlight, Earthquake water or insurance. The other day my dad’s friend, Chad told me just to get a hand-cranked one, but Tom informed me that despite the increased price he was a staunch supporter of the motorized version. Easy for him to say, I still didn’t have one did I?

 (It's hard to see but the rocks are where the tractor went off the path last year and into the creek which runs under that mossy log)
 

Anyway this year’s tree was going so well it really was too good to be true. Oh I mean I wish there’d been snow for added charm, but the brisk air was plenty of ambiance and now that we’d passed the danger zone it was smooth sailing.

Henry ran ahead with Irish. He didn’t have gloves on and his hands were frozen flesh.

 (Henry runs home with Irish)
 

I hopped on the back of the tractor while Awesome-ez navigated us home. She adeptly got both ends of the tree through the narrow gate without incident. And just when I thought the adventure was over, it began.

“Mil?  Didn’t you say the goats thought the pine branches that blew down during the windstorm were a delicacy?”

“Yeah,” I said casually.

“What if they go after the tree?” She said cautiously.

“Oh, I can’t imagine that,” I said with confidence

“Oh no? Then why are they running over here?” She wasn’t just whistling Dixie. They’d spied the tree and were after us like a band of highway robbers.

 (They can't help themselves the goats begin to ravage the tree)
 

“Quick grab the tree!” She said grabbing one end.

“I’m trying! They’re eating it. I can’t lift it out of the bucket without breaking it.”

“Just grab it!”

“Got it!”

“OK now run like you’ve got the football Mil. Now!” And run we did. She had the front half of the tree and I had the back with four goats running after us trying to eat the top of our new Christmas tree.

“They’re nibbling the top!” I yelled.

“Keep moving!” She yelled back without turning around. “I’ve got to get the gate in a second.”

“Hurry, they’re eating the tree, tearing off branches!” I screamed willing her cold fingers to get the latch.

“Got it! C’mon!” She instructed and I obeyed slamming the gate behind me.

I looked over at her and she was half laughing half panting. “They’re like piranha.” She wheezed.

“I can’t believe they did that. It never occurred to me we were in peril.” I said watching Christina lean over to try and munch on the tip of the tree.

 (Christina is shut down)

 (Awesom-ez securing the tree)
 

 (never give up?)

 (inside at last)

 (Up!)
 
 
 
 
 

December 6th Eddie Rascal

 (Sir Edward and - Miracle - playing the part of Tim's neighbor -Wilson from the show"Home Improvement")
 

My pasture has been entirely too quiet and empty for weeks. Of course, Miracle and Sir Edward have been subleasing the space but it’s not the same. They don’t jingle jangle jingle like Andy or serenade me like Abe and Gnatalie do with their mooo-hooooing

A couple of weeks ago Nick, Henry and I went to Dave’s and tried to get the cows, but to no avail. As we feared the ding dang boys flipped out just like before and Gnatalie had no intention of leaving Peggy. However we didn’t exactly leave empty handed. We got a head of cabbage from Dave’s garden, a jug of fresh cider he'd pressed and we learned a few interesting tid bits. Dave it seems was in the first graduating class at Sehome, where Nick goes to school. And strangely – we found out Dave knows Little Chris Donaldson. In fact, he knows him very well. He dated and lived  for years with Little Chris Donaldson’s mother. Talk about your small world, I couldn't wait to tell my sister.

 (Dave's cabin)

 (Dave in Dave's house)
 (Dave's house- serious county)

 (Nick getting packer pellets)

 (Nick sippin' cider)

That was then, this is now.

Today, together with Dave’s boyhood pal, Eddie, we were going to finally, finally bring the cows home. Eddie has a trailer and is charging Dave and I each fifty bucks for his services He was going to take Dave’s cow Peggy and her calf, Tucker to Dave’s brother’s house to hook up with his bull. In addition,my fifty bucks will get my three bovine from Dave's house to my pasture.

So this morning after a pot of coffee or two, Awesomez, Henry and I drove over to Dave’s to get this round up on the road. Dave had gotten my three in his pipe corral and they were ready to be loaded. Eddie was in the process of backing up the trailer to the entrance of the corral when we drove up.

As I approached pockets full of packer pellets, I could hear Dave yelling in an increasingly frantic tone “Stop! Stop! STOP!! EDDIE!! STOP!” Eddie was not stopping so I ran over to his window and hollered for him to stop. He stopped as his trailer grazed the pipe corral gate.  I’d met Eddie’s type before. I could tell from this little episode what I was up against. It wasn’t a matter of lack of hearing, although I’m sure that's part of it. It’s a matter of being in his own Eddie World. Not caring if he hit the fence or not. He wasn’t even looking for a cue to stop he was just doing his own Eddie thing.

He stepped out of the trailer smiling extremely pleased with his trailer prowess and delighted with his extremely close proximity to the corral.

“Well, let’s load ‘em up!” Eddie instructed as if everyone should snap to attention. The boys and Gnatalie were non-plussed by Eddie’s direction or the trailer. They had no intention of doing anything but eat the hay they’d been bribed with to enter the corral.

 (Gnatalie, Andy and Abe)

“I guess I shouldn’t have fed them,” Dave chided himself.

“We can just move some of the hay into the trailer.” I suggested

“And we brought plenty of packer pellets.” Henry informed him although I’m not sure he fully understood the heroin-like allure the pellets have on the cattle.

We all took up our positions. Henry was to float around and do whatever I needed. Awesomez took the space between one edge of the trailer and  the fence. She was to use her body to block the cows from slipping through this gaping hole. Dave was going to go in the pen with me and Eddie was going to "supervise". I tried luring the boys in with a pellet or two, but Abe nor Andy was ready to work that hard when they had so much premium hay at their disposal. Things didn't go smoothly at first. The cows were obstinate and we were running out of tricks.

“We need a lead rope.” Dave muttered. Without a word I unwrapped my scarf from around my neck and put it around Abe’s neck. He didn't go right away, it took some time, but after some time he let me lead him toward Awesomez I could see the concern on her face. She was to block this fella from going on a hike through the forest. If he got out, we wouldn't get him back today. Nearing her he grazed her with his horns. 

"Are you kidding me? What if he bolts?" She said more to herself than to anyone else. "How did I get here? I'm wrangling cows! The things I do for you Miller!" I thought she might step away at the last moment, but she held her position and he walked in the trailer as nice as you please. Wham! Eddie closed the first compartment behind him and he disappeared.

 (getting these boys going)
 

 (it took some time)
 

 (Abe just before disappearing)

Now for Andy, who didn’t think Abe’s Kris Angel impression was something he wanted to try. Andy had absolutely no intention of following him. So I pulled and prodded and lured and cajoled and begged while Awesomez blocked the escape route again and Henry manned the gate in case I was successful. Eventually, surprisingly, we successful so Dave pulled a rope through the trailer and behind his bum to make him feel penned in. Eddie not taking the time to notice I was standing near the rope pulled it up and tight almost strangling me with it while tying it down. 

 (have fashion accessories will travel)

 (Goldie Hawn's umbrella in "Foul Play" has nothing on my scarf)

 (getting Andy in)

 

 

 (temporarily tying them in)
 

 (Dave and me trying to keep Andy in)
 

Now it was Gnatalie’s turn. The little thing has a will of iron and didn't go quickly. However, she is also love bug and really just wants to be snuggled so she eventually went in too.

The problem facing us now was that the trailer door was open wide. And in order to close it we had to move forward enough to allow the door to squeeze past the corral. A bigger problem than it sounds. In effect, we had to move forward over four feet with three cattle. Two completely unsecured . If the trailer wasn’t so close to the pipe corral we could have simply shut the door.

 A person of sound mind would realize the danger in this maneuver and wait for the person in the trailer to get out. A person concerned about others would move forward slowly and cautiously with regard to animal and human safety. A person with half a brain wouldn't slam on the brakes. The trouble was we had Eddie.

Without warning the trailer lurched forward with a heave. To be fair,  Eddie might have felt he had to gun it because of the weight, but I suspect his truck was accustom to this kind of load. Whatever the reason, the sudden motion was debilitating. Andy stumbled and went down on one side. Gnatalie lurched to the right stapling me against the side of the trailer. As the rig continued forward I bobbed and weaved, bracing myself trying desperately to stay out from underneath a side of beef. I didn’t have time to be scared as Eddie hit the brakes I was so busy trying to keep from becoming a paraplegic. When the movement finally stopped the door slammed shut momentarily closing me in.

 (Henry mans the gate)
 

 (Eddie, Dave the trailer door closed - me and Henry)
  (the sign on the back of the trailer)

 

Emerging unscathed I looked over at Awesomez whose face was racked with fear. She tossed me a knowing look, but seeing I was OK relaxed a bit. I breathed a deep sigh acknowledging how lucky I’d been. "That jerk could have killed you," she muttered under her breath as she gave me a hug. "I can't believe how tough you are. I think Eddie thought you were hot pushing those cows around." I was just glad to be alive.

"I can't believe you've turned into a cow girl! You, Go-Go Gomez, - who would have believed it?"

"I didn't do much, I just blocked giant cows with my body," She said humbly. Although I knew how scary it had been when those cows had come toward her. Courage is doing something you're afraid of in spite of your fear. She had been brave.

"You were Awesome Awesomez!" Henry insisted as we began to walk to the car.

“That’s quite a scarf you’ve got there,” Dave laughed tugging on one end relieving some of my tension.

We said good-bye to a forlorn Peggy and Tucker and followed Eddie back to my house where we unloaded our trio without incident.

 (on the road)

 (Eddie is adept with the trailer)

 (About to unload)

 (the welcoming committee)

 (Pals - Richard and Franklin come for a look)
 

 

 (unloading without any trouble)

 (Home again, home again - jiggity jig)

 (Awesomez, Dave and Richard)

(cookie monsters)  
 
      (Henry brings the tractor)

 (Awesomez, Dave as well as Richard and Franklin)
 
       (Eddie)
 

Henry fetched the tractor so we could put a round bale in Eddie’s trailer for Dave to take home.

It was then that Eddie launched into his “You really from California?”

“Um, yes.” I answered cautiously. There was a familiar smarmy tone to Eddie’s question instantly making me uncomfortable.

“I think you must have gone to Berkley,” he baited.

“Berkley? You think I went to Berkley? Why because I’m so liberal?”  Those were fighting words. Knowing he must be as right wing as they come I didn't want to tell him I’d been a registered Republican, voted for Reagan and Bush senior for fear it might be construed as some sort of GOP aphrodisiac, something akin to listening to Hannity by candlelight. 

“Yup.”

“I did vote for Hilary,” I declared unabashedly hoping to put an end to the flirtatious tone in his voice by playing the staunch feminist Clinton card.

“Now Eddie, I told you not to speak. You always get in trouble when you talk.” Dave cajoled desperately trying to end this conversation.

“Hilary! Now I like that Sarah Palin,” Eddie informed us. “She’s cute.”

“Exactly that's why you like her.” I said with all the disdain I could muster.

“How do you know why I like her?” Eddie asked.

“Because there isn’t any other reason to like her.” I said shoving the bale of hay in the trailer with the trailer bucket for punctuation.

“Eddie, you’re talking again. Don’t talk in front of the people they don’t like it.” Dave tried again.

“She looks a little like Sarah Palin with her hair up don’t you think?” Awesomez slyly interjected her eyes laughing. “You should see her when she puts on her red glasses.” I wanted to smack her, but instead I gave her a smile that said it all. Eddie leaned one arm on the tractor looking at me with his Paul Newman blue eyes. Leering he began launching into a chauvinistic assessment of my appearance, my suspected left-wing activities out here in the county and the virtues of the Republican Party, NRA and Sarah Palin. I smiled politely and threw poison barbs every now and then trying to be cutting but not outright angry. I could see the obvious discomfort on Dave’s face and not surprisingly, Awesomez had quietly slipped away as she can only take so much. Her father had a "W" on his door for years.

“Anyone with a brain is better than 43 was - Eddie. Let’s leave it at that. C’mon you rascal we’ve got to get Peggy to my brother’s. Thanks for the hay Denise.” Dave said trying to hasten their departure.

“No Dave, thank you for taking care of my runaways.” I said taking his cue. “I’m just going to go put the tractor up and get my wallet. I’ll meet you at the gate.”

As they drove away Awesomez said “Sorry about the Palin thing. I can’t take guys like that. You know he asked me if I was Henry’s grandma?” she said completely annoyed.

“You think that’s bad? He thought I was a little girl! A little girl! Are you freaking kidding me? He called me MISS,” Henry complained completely outraged.

“You look great for a grandma,” I said looking at my friend, “but you’re pretty homely for a girl.” I informed Henry.

“Is that right? Well, people tell me I look just like you -  Sarah.” Henry countered sending Awseomez into her signature giggle.

 (and where was teenage Nick - you ask?)
 

 

 

 

December 4th Take A Bite Out Of

 (Phoebe at the ferry terminal - third from right in the back)
 
     Awesomez and I were trying to be on time for Phoebe’s choral performance. However, we’d somehow gotten behind every new driver in Whatcom County. One car didn’t turn left on two green lights, so we gnashed our teeth hoping we weren’t going to miss it. Phoebe was singing in her annual Christmas program at the Alaskan Ferry Terminal. We got there but only because we ran through the parking lot. After it was over we were able to walk through and see the Gingerbread house competition. The one we’d planned to enter all year, but as time grew close I was simply overwhelmed with winter preparations, Kim’s passing and things for the kids. I just didn’t have it in me to do a gingerbread house without Tom or someone to help.

 (a young ginger bread artists creates an Ark)

 (part of a larger display - a ginger kayak)
 
 

 (ginger pirate ship)

 (Matzah sail)
 

 (Ginger castle)

 
 

 (Ginger taxi cab)
 

 (ginger tree house)
 

 (a family entry- a ginger boat)
 

 (ginger cottage - with lights)
 

 (ginger yellow submarine)
 

 (ginger museum)
 

 (computer)
 

 (Whatcom Middle School on fire)
 

 (gingerbread "Up")

 ("UP" detail)

 (Up - footprints in the snow )

 (ginger shopping bag)

 

 

 

 (Henry and Phoebe dance to Christmas music)
 

 (Henry discusses service dogs)
 
 
  (Quinn and Awesomez deep in discussion as usual)
 

“Next year it’s our Thanksgiving weekend plan,” I said to Chris poking him hard after finding out he was going around changing Henry’s 10.00 bids to 100.00 bids.

“You got it. We can make tandem gingerbread houses.” Chris confirmed as he and Lisa went off to bid on another six entries.

            "I'm starving and about ready to eat my arm. Can we get something to eat?" Henry requested. It was a little early for dinner, but we all agreed we could eat. Henry, Awesomez and I drove around trying to decide where to go to dinner. After going up and down Lakeway, Chestnut, Holly, State and Harris we finally decided on The Pepper Sisters.

            It was an unlikely choice I’ll grant you. Southwestern and spicy it wasn’t likely Henry was going to love it. Unfortunately, none of us loved it. Although, Henry had no problem asking for what he wanted. He ordered a Roy Rogers extra syrup. And was about to add chicken to his burrito which I felt was already pricey enough. I thought he's going to be one of these people who's coffee drink takes ten minutes to order.

I’d been there once before with Tom and we’d had a great meal, but this time around everything was pretty bland. Henry and Awesomez picked at their entrees while I stuffed it in knowing the food was going to go to waste if I didn’t.

After dinner, we went to see “The Blind Side”. The perfect movie for Awesomez and I. She loves football and I love Sandra Bullock.  It’s a true story of hardship and hard work. Kindness and love. On our way, I realized I needed to stop and drop off Henry’s prescription to be filled. So while they went and got tickets and popcorn I ran to Rite Aid. The very accommodating pharmacist said he’ have the medication ready when my movie was over. “Have a good time and let me know if you like it,” he said as I nodded and raced to the theatre.

We laughed, we cried, we ate a tub of popcorn and loved it. “Mom didn’t you like it when….”

“Henry can it wait? I have to run back and get your meds.”

“Can I get a snack?”

“Seriously? You’re hungry? We had dinner and popcorn.”

“I’m still hungry. I didn’t like my burrito and I really didn’t get much popcorn because I didn’t want to be rude and take it all.”

“Ok.” I said over my shoulder as I went racing down the sidewalk.

All was fine, I had fifteen minutes to spare. “Did you like the movie?” The smiling pharmacist asked.

“I did. I really haven’t liked a movie this much in a long time.” I said recommending it.

When I walked back to the checkout stands, Awesomez was busy calling the restaurant because she couldn’t find her inhaler. She doesn’t go anywhere without it and so she was patiently explaining to the person on the phone where we sat incase she’d left it behind. “The last booth on the right…” was the last thing I heard before; I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning I saw a very serious man in his early thirties plainly dressed looking me intently in the eye.

“Excuse me Maam, I’m store security.” Store security? Store security? I was confused. “I caught your son stealing from the store.” He said holding a Three Musketeers™ bar. There must be some mistake I thought this cannot be happening. My son knows right from wrong. It must have been a mistake I thought until I saw Henry’s face and knew it was true. “I would ordinarily call the police and file a report.” A report! Oh my God, I thought I was going to be sick. “But your son was completely honest and admitted what he’d done. Boys his age usually lie, he didn’t. So I’m just going to give him a warning.”

I knew it was my turn to speak, but I was weak in the knees and all I could think to say was “Henry why? What? I told you I’d buy you a snack.”

“You did?” He pitifully replied with tears in his eyes pulling his brown sweatshirt in front of his face.

“He took the wrapper off and hid it then put the candy in his sweatshirt.” The man continued to report the events of the crime.

“Henry I’m just stunned. Of course, I’ll pay for it. Is there something I should do? I just don’t know what to do?”

“No you don’t need to pay for it. I’ll report it as destroyed.”

 “Henry why?”

“Because I was hungry. I saw all the candy bars and I wanted one. I thought you said no” Henry said almost emotionless.

“Well, first of all I said yes, but even if I’d said no, you don’t take one. Are you kidding me? That’s ridiculous. I told you I’d buy you a snack why wouldn’t you just wait?” I demanded.

“I didn’t hear you.” Henry said sadly. "I thought you wouldn't want to spend the money."

Awesomez walked up and was quickly brought up to speed. “Even if your mother had said ‘no’ you couldn’t be that hungry. We went out to dinner and I offered you popcorn and something at the movie.” Awesomez said. “You’re being unfair to your mother making her feel you’re hungry.”

"I was." Henry repeated.

I felt as though my world had collapsed. On the way to pick-up Nick and his new girlfriend, Megan, Awesomez said, “It’s too bad there isn’t a class in right and wrong.”

“But that's the thing. I thought I'd been teaching that class for 12 years now. This is a parenting nightmare. I feel like I’ve failed. Like I don't know who he is. Lis, Maybe he did feel hungry. You know with not having a lot of money lately. I’ve made him wait. I've made him wait when he really was hungry. After work out. I don't stop a lot for food on the way home. I don’t buy snacks. Maybe he thought he was trying to help because we couldn’t pay for it.”

“Stop! Just stop. You are not to blame for this. He is and he has to take responsibility. NOT YOU. Shhh.” She said emphatically.

Henry do you realize how lucky you are?” I asked. “ You know how you got that scholarship to Woodward this summer? Well, they don’t give scholarships and things like that to kids with criminal records.”

“You could have had a report filed. You could end up in juvenile hall, you could end up having your driver’s license delayed.” Awesomez explained. “You know I used to work at a home for troubled boys; they were sent there by the court and I had one boy, Mark, who was there for a year. A YEAR. Just because he stole a greeting card. A greeting card he was obviously was getting for someone else. He was a good kid and he did his time.The court felt he wasn’t supervised properly and suspended his mother’s parental rights for one whole year.

“ A year? I thought the only thing that would happen is they’d make me pay for the candy bar.” Henry said lamely.

The story terrified me as I listened. No father figure in the home. He was away working. Tenants,a rottweiler, mother working at a store part time. I didn't look good on paper at all.

“It’s a true story Henry. I loved that kid. He came to our facility for a year.” Awesomez repeated. Once the court system gets involved in your life. You lose control of your choices. Imagine how your mother would feel if you were sent away at all.”

“You’re not seven.” I said sternly. “I can’t tell you how disappointed I am in you. You’re a thief.”

“Mom.”

“You are, you’re a thief.”

“It’s the first thing I’ve ever taken.”

“How do I know you’re not a liar too?”

“Henry it’s awfully unlikely you got caught on your first time. I think you need to tell your mother the truth.” Awesomez insisted.

“Really. It’s the first thing.” Henry whispered.

“I don’t believe that Henry.” Awesomez stated flatly.

The drive home was solemn. The evening ruined. When I got home I called Tom. Naturally he felt it was his fault for not being here. We talked talked and talked and then we talked to Henry then Tom talked to Henry then I called my sister. "Chris says he'll drive out there right now if you need him to talk to Henry too. And he says remember 'hard labor' make him work."

"Tell him I will. I'm gong to need the Uncle Chris card, but I think I can handle it tonight, but he is going to have to face Chris too." I said exhausted from the events.

As I put Henry to bed I said. “Well, I’m not sure quite yet how your father and I are going to deal with this, but we do know one thing it's not going away. You’ve lost all privileges. You will not be going into Fairhaven with your friends - you obviously can’t be trusted.

“Mom it was only a candy bar I’m so sorry.”

“So what? Next, is it going to be a TV? DVD player?”

“NO!”

“Do you think if I took a TV they’d just make me pay for it?” I asked.

"I made a mistake."

"Doing drugs is a mistake, drinking and driving is a mistake, picking up a gun and showing it to a friend is a mistake. Mistakes or not they can end up costing someone their life.I lost many friends to someone who made a mistake. Some mistakes are huge but you have to live with the consequences. That's what happens when you start to grow-up."

“Awesomez was really hard on me. She thinks I’m lying.”

“Are you? Have you stolen before? She doesn’t think this is your first time. She cares about you and doesn't want you to continue down this path. If you lie to me now it’ll be a lot worse for you later.”

“She thinks I took candy, because I was kidding around and said that to Nick, but I didn't. Some people in town paid me a dollar to do a back flip, but I did take something about a year ago. I told myself I would never do it again.”

“But you did.”

“Yes.”

“Honey, doing wrong things breaks a barrier. And the more you do things that are wrong the easier it gets. Your father and I are not going to let this be easy. You will have to do hard labor tomorrow. You will bring in firewood and pick up trash. You will be working somewhere and donating your time to charity. Hopefully, I can find someplace where you can see what real hunger looks like. This isn’t over. I suggest you pray for forgiveness and realize that God knows what’s in your heart and what you’ve done. Even if I don’t. I’m just so sad, but you know I love you. I will always love, but I hate what you’ve done. I’m so, so sad and I feel so betrayed.”

Tears welled up in Henry’s eyes as he listened to me but he did not cry.  I found this curious as he cries at the drop of a hat. If the coach yells at him, if I tell him to put a shirt on, or if he feels wronged he cries. This time, he did not. I went to bed broken-hearted. As I lay there I thought about Henry graduating from college, working in the Peace Corps, having his own children and I thought this is a moment I want him to look back on and be able to say. “I could have gone the wrong direction, but my parents made this such a lesson I never stole anything ever again.” The Catholic in me will be sending him to reconciliation before Christmas.

 Luther woke me in the middle of the night because he needed to go outside. On my way I passed Henry’s room and found a note addressed to me.

It said:

Dear Mom,

I know what I did was wrong and I’m not saying that that makes it any better I just want you to know that I will never again take something that does not belong to me. I with only the want for one measly little candy bar changed the way you look at me to your eyes I am a thief… because of ONE little candy bar. I would have made big blotch on my future I know because of one candy bar. I could have been taken away from you, gone to juvenile hall, not gotten a scholarship, postponed my driver’s license, but I know that the worst possible thing did happen to me. I made my own mom have to have a stranger walk up to her and tell her that her son who was brought up to know right from wrong was caught stealing a candy bar. I made you lose your trust and respect for me. I also have lost something my own respect and my honour. I did something on impulse that one impulse was the want for a candy bar. We all want things we can’t have before all I wanted was a candy bar now all I want is my own mom’s trust. I will NEVER steal again. It’s pointless and bittersweet I lose more than gain. I don’t understand how one can make an entire living off stealing without feeling stupid because that’s what I felt. I don’t expect this to make everything better but I hope it will help.

Regretfully yours,

Henry Miller

(click to view full size)

As I read the heartfelt note, I was touched by his remorse and once again had hope that my boy would soon be back on track. However, I was also struck by his terrible language conventions.

Mental note: needs confession and grammar lesson.  And what’s with honor  “h-o-n-o-u-r”? That’s the Canadian spelling. What the heck? Are you kidding me? I really have failed.

 

December December 3rd Perfectly Normal

 (The Twin Sisters)

      “Why would you live out there? I mean what's it like really with all those animals? You know on a normal day. Don't you get sick of being so far away from civilization.” the woman carrying the big black patent purse with buckles and long red polished nails purchasing some Dill Havarti at Everybody’s Store asked me spritely. 

I gave her my canned answer “Oh I get into Bellingham every day really. And the animals well, I feed them, clean out the barn, let them graze,the regular things. No one really wants to hear the truth. It's like when some says 'how are you?' very few really want to know your real answer. "That’ll be $4.82 please.” I said smiling as I rang her up. I couldn't help thinking how much I hate Dill Havarti it's so pedantic. After all the good cheeses I gave her to taste. She might as well eat grass and butter. Not that I have anything against butter. "Thank you!"

As I thought about the lady with the shiny handbag, I wondered about what she said. A normal day I suppose is a day when everything goes as planned and that just isn’t very normal. Take the last few days for example. Awesomez came in to town with Nick and the washing machine broke, Edward had a painful abscess just above his hoof, the pipes froze to Amy’s house leaving her without water and us without any working washer and then while we were at gymnastics we got a frantic phone message from Amy telling us half the geese were missing.

 (Denise - me- Carrying Edward's blanket after giving him some Bute - Horse Advil™)
 

 (Edward in pain)

 (draining)

 (Awesomez not loving the camera thing - completely fake smile - whatever)

 ( a sight to see - Awesomez seems to be getting over her fear of turkeys, sheep, goats, cows, horses, donkeys, chickens, ducks - but not geese)

“Missing?” Awesomez asked. “Has this ever happened before? What do we do?

“Never not in two years. After we get home, I’ll drop you guys off and I’m going to go look for them, but I’m worried. It’s late. It might be too late,” I responded. “Amy says she thinks they’re out by the pond, but it’ll be at least an hour before Henry finishes and we get home.”

 (Trey watches Henry on the rings)
 

“If you’re going. I’m going, I’m not letting you go alone,” she said. I smiled to myself. My asthmatic friend, my accident-prone friend, my friend who is afraid of sheep and terrified of turkeys who would otherwise never step foot on a farm was first and foremost ‘my big sister’. “They’re always together, why would they separate?” Awesomez wondered aloud.

“That’s a frightening question. I don’t think I want to know the answer to. I imagine they’re in the forest. At least they’re girls and they’re camouflaged. The boys would practically glow.” I murmured as she drove home on the windy dark state route 9. “You know, I don’t expect to find them alive. They’re mostly the young ones and they’re probably out honking in the forest on a cold dark night. A goose dinner would sound pretty good to a coyote, bobcat, fox, cougar, heck even a raccoon could probably take Linda down,” I said quietly not wanting to upset Henry who was sitting in back with Nick. We drove the rest of the way in silence intermittently turning on one of the few stations we get on the 9 - PRAISE which plays not often heard renditions of unusual Christmas songs.

“Can we turn that off?” Nick complained. “It’s kinda freakin’ me out.”

When we got home Amy met us at the gate wearing one of her throw-anything-on-that’s-warm–ensembles earmarked by various stripes in all directions and jumped in the van. We drove over to the barn and I got out with Amy while everyone else waited in the van, just in case the missing geese had come home since Amy’d last checked. We walked in the open barn to see a frantic gaggle. Lloyd, Clara, and Cleveland were milling about the center of the barn. They refused to go in their pen. In fact, I couldn’t usher them in with a stick and Amy. On a hunch I grabbed Lloyd figuring if the scared and wayward young geese were still alive and out there, they’d more likely come to Papa Lloyd’s pleas than mine.  I handed a sleeping Henry Lloyd and glanced over at Awesomez. She hadn’t flinched at the idea of a goose riding in the van. She simply sat there as though this was something that happened everyday. She was changing before my eyes.

 (Lloyd ready to find his kids and crazy Mabel who seems not act her age)
 

With Awesomez driving the Mystery Machine we slowly headed down the rocky path toward the pond the windows open cold air swirling around us. No one complained we were listening for honks. All was quiet.

“There! I see them! Stop!” I yelled. Although I didn’t have to yell, Awesomez did as she was told and hit the brake.

“Where?” Everyone in the van asked almost in unison but not quite.

“There!” I pointed to the center of the pasture. “They went to the safest place possible. They’re not as dumb as I thought. They couldn’t have been more safe than in with Miracle and Edward.” I said hopping out determined to retrieve my geese.

The first one was fairly easy to catch. I got angel-winged Linda and handed her over to Amy who took her straight up to her worried mother. Numbers two and three, LuAnn and her wily aunt Mabel, had me running all over the pasture and back. You’d think I was after them for Christmas dinner. Miracle wondered what the heck was going on and thinking donkey thoughts in her donkey brain, she figured I was mad at the geese, so she started charging them trying to mow them down just to help me out. This kicked up the stress to a whole new level for me and the birds. However after I told Miracle to stop she stopped completely confused by my antics. No one in the van came to my aid. Instead, they sat in the van with the lights shining on me for their amusement.

After slipping and falling on the ice countless times, I finally got LuAnn through the fence and herded her up the hill as I carried an exhausted but very discontent and vocal Mabel.

 (me and LuAnn)
 

Once inside the barn, I put all the geese in their pen and shut the barn doors tight for the night, shoving a broomstick through the door handles to keep predators out, just like normal.

 (ultra predator proof security)
 

Awesomez was alone, the boys and Amy had gone in for the night, but she was waiting for me with the van nice and warm. “I got them in their pen. They’re all happy to be together again.”

She smiled handing me the paper towel. It was the one she’d just finished wiping Lloyd’s goose poop up off the leather seats with, “Perfect”.

 (goose poop - Henry calls it going #3- too much solid for #1 - too much liquid for #2)

 (- the next day we figured out why they were out galavanting around - a puddle by the pasture that hadn't frozen)