(Phoebe at the ferry terminal - third from right in the back)
Awesomez and I were trying to be on
time for Phoebe’s choral performance. However, we’d somehow gotten behind every
new driver in Whatcom County. One car didn’t turn left on two green lights, so
we gnashed our teeth hoping we weren’t going to miss it. Phoebe was singing in her
annual Christmas program at the Alaskan Ferry Terminal. We got there but only because we ran through the parking lot. After it was over we were able to walk through and see the
Gingerbread house competition. The one we’d planned to enter all year, but as time grew
close I was simply overwhelmed with winter preparations, Kim’s passing and
things for the kids. I just didn’t have it in me to do a gingerbread house
without Tom or someone to help.
(a young ginger bread artists creates an Ark)
(part of a larger display - a ginger kayak)
(ginger pirate ship)
(Matzah sail)
(Ginger castle)
(Ginger taxi cab)
(ginger tree house)
(a family entry- a ginger boat)
(ginger cottage - with lights)
(ginger yellow submarine)
(ginger museum)
(computer)
(Whatcom Middle School on fire)
(gingerbread "Up")
("UP" detail)
(Up - footprints in the snow )
(ginger shopping bag)
(Henry and Phoebe dance to Christmas music)
(Henry discusses service dogs)
(Quinn and Awesomez deep in discussion as usual)
“Next year it’s our Thanksgiving weekend plan,” I said to Chris poking him hard after finding out he was going around changing Henry’s 10.00 bids to 100.00 bids.
“You got it. We can make tandem gingerbread houses.” Chris confirmed as he and Lisa went off to bid on another six entries.
"I'm starving and about ready to eat my arm. Can we get something to eat?" Henry requested. It was a little early for dinner, but we all agreed we could eat. Henry, Awesomez and I drove around trying to decide where to go to dinner. After going up and down Lakeway, Chestnut, Holly, State and Harris we finally decided on The Pepper Sisters.
It
was an unlikely choice I’ll grant you. Southwestern and spicy it wasn’t likely
Henry was going to love it. Unfortunately, none of us loved it. Although, Henry had no problem asking for what he wanted. He ordered a Roy Rogers extra syrup. And was about to add chicken to his burrito which I felt was already pricey enough. I thought he's going to be one of these people who's coffee drink takes ten minutes to order.
I’d been there once before with Tom and we’d had a great meal, but this time around everything was pretty bland. Henry and Awesomez picked at their entrees while I stuffed it in knowing the food was going to go to waste if I didn’t.
After dinner, we went to see “The Blind Side”. The perfect movie for Awesomez and I. She loves football and I love Sandra Bullock. It’s a true story of hardship and hard work. Kindness and love. On our way, I realized I needed to stop and drop off Henry’s prescription to be filled. So while they went and got tickets and popcorn I ran to Rite Aid. The very accommodating pharmacist said he’ have the medication ready when my movie was over. “Have a good time and let me know if you like it,” he said as I nodded and raced to the theatre.
We laughed, we cried, we ate a tub of popcorn and loved it. “Mom didn’t you like it when….”
“Henry can it wait? I have to run back and get your meds.”
“Can I get a snack?”
“Seriously? You’re hungry? We had dinner and popcorn.”
“I’m still hungry. I didn’t like my burrito and I really didn’t get much popcorn because I didn’t want to be rude and take it all.”
“Ok.” I said over my shoulder as I went racing down the sidewalk.
All was fine, I had fifteen minutes to spare. “Did you like the movie?” The smiling pharmacist asked.
“I did. I really haven’t liked a movie this much in a long time.” I said recommending it.
When I walked back to the checkout stands, Awesomez was busy calling the restaurant because she couldn’t find her inhaler. She doesn’t go anywhere without it and so she was patiently explaining to the person on the phone where we sat incase she’d left it behind. “The last booth on the right…” was the last thing I heard before; I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning I saw a very serious man in his early thirties plainly dressed looking me intently in the eye.
“Excuse me Maam, I’m store security.” Store security? Store security? I was confused. “I caught your son stealing from the store.” He said holding a Three Musketeers™ bar. There must be some mistake I thought this cannot be happening. My son knows right from wrong. It must have been a mistake I thought until I saw Henry’s face and knew it was true. “I would ordinarily call the police and file a report.” A report! Oh my God, I thought I was going to be sick. “But your son was completely honest and admitted what he’d done. Boys his age usually lie, he didn’t. So I’m just going to give him a warning.”
I knew it was my turn to speak, but I was weak in the knees and all I could think to say was “Henry why? What? I told you I’d buy you a snack.”
“You did?” He pitifully replied with tears in his eyes pulling his brown sweatshirt in front of his face.
“He took the wrapper off and hid it then put the candy in his sweatshirt.” The man continued to report the events of the crime.
“Henry I’m just stunned. Of course, I’ll pay for it. Is there something I should do? I just don’t know what to do?”
“No you don’t need to pay for it. I’ll report it as destroyed.”
“Henry why?”
“Because I was hungry. I saw all the candy bars and I wanted one. I thought you said no” Henry said almost emotionless.
“Well, first of all I said yes, but even if I’d said no, you don’t take one. Are you kidding me? That’s ridiculous. I told you I’d buy you a snack why wouldn’t you just wait?” I demanded.
“I didn’t hear you.” Henry said sadly. "I thought you wouldn't want to spend the money."
Awesomez walked up and was quickly brought up to speed. “Even if your mother had said ‘no’ you couldn’t be that hungry. We went out to dinner and I offered you popcorn and something at the movie.” Awesomez said. “You’re being unfair to your mother making her feel you’re hungry.”
"I was." Henry repeated.
I felt as though my world had collapsed. On the way to pick-up Nick and his new girlfriend, Megan, Awesomez said, “It’s too bad there isn’t a class in right and wrong.”
“But that's the thing. I thought I'd been teaching that class for 12 years now. This is a parenting nightmare. I feel like I’ve failed. Like I don't know who he is. Lis, Maybe he did feel hungry. You know with not having a lot of money lately. I’ve made him wait. I've made him wait when he really was hungry. After work out. I don't stop a lot for food on the way home. I don’t buy snacks. Maybe he thought he was trying to help because we couldn’t pay for it.”
“Stop! Just stop. You are not to blame for this. He is and he has to take responsibility. NOT YOU. Shhh.” She said emphatically.
Henry do you realize how lucky you are?” I asked. “ You know how you got that scholarship to Woodward this summer? Well, they don’t give scholarships and things like that to kids with criminal records.”
“You could have had a report filed. You could end up in juvenile hall, you could end up having your driver’s license delayed.” Awesomez explained. “You know I used to work at a home for troubled boys; they were sent there by the court and I had one boy, Mark, who was there for a year. A YEAR. Just because he stole a greeting card. A greeting card he was obviously was getting for someone else. He was a good kid and he did his time.The court felt he wasn’t supervised properly and suspended his mother’s parental rights for one whole year.
“ A year? I thought the only thing that would happen is they’d make me pay for the candy bar.” Henry said lamely.
The story terrified me as I listened. No father figure in the home. He was away working. Tenants,a rottweiler, mother working at a store part time. I didn't look good on paper at all.
“It’s a true story Henry. I loved that kid. He came to our facility for a year.” Awesomez repeated. Once the court system gets involved in your life. You lose control of your choices. Imagine how your mother would feel if you were sent away at all.”
“You’re not seven.” I said sternly. “I can’t tell you how disappointed I am in you. You’re a thief.”
“Mom.”
“You are, you’re a thief.”
“It’s the first thing I’ve ever taken.”
“How do I know you’re not a liar too?”
“Henry it’s awfully unlikely you got caught on your first time. I think you need to tell your mother the truth.” Awesomez insisted.
“Really. It’s the first thing.” Henry whispered.
“I don’t believe that Henry.” Awesomez stated flatly.
The drive home was solemn. The evening ruined. When I got home I called Tom. Naturally he felt it was his fault for not being here. We talked talked and talked and then we talked to Henry then Tom talked to Henry then I called my sister. "Chris says he'll drive out there right now if you need him to talk to Henry too. And he says remember 'hard labor' make him work."
"Tell him I will. I'm gong to need the Uncle Chris card, but I think I can handle it tonight, but he is going to have to face Chris too." I said exhausted from the events.
As I put Henry to bed I said. “Well, I’m not sure quite yet how your father and I are going to deal with this, but we do know one thing it's not going away. You’ve lost all privileges. You will not be going into Fairhaven with your friends - you obviously can’t be trusted.
“Mom it was only a candy bar I’m so sorry.”
“So what? Next, is it going to be a TV? DVD player?”
“NO!”
“Do you think if I took a TV they’d just make me pay for it?” I asked.
"I made a mistake."
"Doing drugs is a mistake, drinking and driving is a mistake, picking up a gun and showing it to a friend is a mistake. Mistakes or not they can end up costing someone their life.I lost many friends to someone who made a mistake. Some mistakes are huge but you have to live with the consequences. That's what happens when you start to grow-up."
“Awesomez was really hard on me. She thinks I’m lying.”
“Are you? Have you stolen before? She doesn’t think this is your first time. She cares about you and doesn't want you to continue down this path. If you lie to me now it’ll be a lot worse for you later.”
“She thinks I took candy, because I was kidding around and said that to Nick, but I didn't. Some people in town paid me a dollar to do a back flip, but I did take something about a year ago. I told myself I would never do it again.”
“But you did.”
“Yes.”
“Honey, doing wrong things breaks a barrier. And the more you do things that are wrong the easier it gets. Your father and I are not going to let this be easy. You will have to do hard labor tomorrow. You will bring in firewood and pick up trash. You will be working somewhere and donating your time to charity. Hopefully, I can find someplace where you can see what real hunger looks like. This isn’t over. I suggest you pray for forgiveness and realize that God knows what’s in your heart and what you’ve done. Even if I don’t. I’m just so sad, but you know I love you. I will always love, but I hate what you’ve done. I’m so, so sad and I feel so betrayed.”
Tears welled up in Henry’s eyes as he listened to me but he did not cry. I found this curious as he cries at the drop of a hat. If the coach yells at him, if I tell him to put a shirt on, or if he feels wronged he cries. This time, he did not. I went to bed broken-hearted. As I lay there I thought about Henry graduating from college, working in the Peace Corps, having his own children and I thought this is a moment I want him to look back on and be able to say. “I could have gone the wrong direction, but my parents made this such a lesson I never stole anything ever again.” The Catholic in me will be sending him to reconciliation before Christmas.
It said:
Dear Mom,I
know what I did was wrong and I’m not saying that that makes it any better I
just want you to know that I will never again take something that does not
belong to me. I with only the want for one measly little candy bar changed the
way you look at me to your eyes I am a thief… because of ONE little candy bar.
Regretfully
yours,
Henry
Miller
As I read the heartfelt note, I was touched by his remorse and once again had hope that my boy would soon be back on track. However, I was also struck by his terrible language conventions.
Mental note: needs confession and grammar lesson. And what’s with honor “h-o-n-o-u-r”? That’s the Canadian spelling. What the heck? Are you kidding me? I really have failed.
