(Vivian and Bruno inside for a sleepy day)
I love to make rules. My most quoted rule is “No eating the popcorn before the credits.” I established this rule so I wouldn’t spend half the movie popcornless. However, in recent times due to endless previews and the advent of commercials in the theatre I have had to abandon this mandate.
Today, I had to follow the rules: Lisa’s rules. Lisa’s rule number 1. No work today. Lisa’s rule number 2. No getting out of pajamas. Lisa’s rule number 3. Happy Hour begins on Greenwich time. Lisa’s rule number 4. Henry gets to pick one of the movies.
Once absolutely everyone had had breakfast and I had a full pot of coffee brewing we sat down to our first movie. “Twilight”. Lisa had a new found appreciation for the idea vampires could actually roam about in Washington’s weather. Next up was “Benchwarmers”. Lisa tried to protect me, but she truly didn’t make it clear what she thought we were in for. As it turns out, she found my distaste for the movie about as entertaining as the movie. I would not call “Benchwarmers” entertaining. Disgusting is more accurate, but I’m not an eleven-year-old boy or the Awesomez, who laughed far too much for my liking as the once co-founder of CABF (Co-eds Against Bodily Functions) After that we saw “Bugsy Malone” and then moved to Absolut™ Peach, lemonade and Reese Witherspoon’s debut movie “The Man In The Moon”.
The next morning we were up before the cows. Meeting Lisa, Quinn and Phoebe in Burlington by 5:30AM for a five and a half hour ride to the little town of Sandy, Oregon to see some rare heritage American Guinea Hog piglets at Cascade Meadows Farm. Kirk, the owner, had suggested I bring a dog carrier in case, I wanted to take a breeding pair with me. I did indeed eye one of my larger carriers before we left, but decided to leave it home. This was purely an informational trip. We were going to see another farm with heritage animals. Kirk and his partner have very similar breeds and I was extremely interested to see how they were kept. I was hoping to learn something I could incorporate. And of course, I wanted to see the piggies
I love a road trip. You get to just be together, chat, hang out and eat. We brought along plenty of snacks for the kids and a huge portion of Henry's chocolate creation he'd made the night before. Quinn complained as she gave up chocolate for Lent, but was soothed by tastes of the Chai icing. Lisa was unhappy as she unwisely gave up all sweets.
The seating arrangements are always worrisome, but they seemed to work out easily. Henry and Phoebe were compatible in the way back. Lisa and Quinn snuggled in the middle and I had the Awesomez in the front directing me, just in case.
“Keep an eye on her Lisa,” my sister instructed, “ She tailgates.” I was instantly annoyed. I tailgate. OK I tailgated in college. That’s just like me getting warned at every family cooking or baking event not to put the wooden spoon in the mixer – like I did when I was eight-years-old. Do you never get a fresh start? I drove on.
We’d almost arrived at our destination and were going through town looking for somewhere to feed and water the kids. Just as I was about to go through an intersection, "Stop!!" my sideseat driver yelled scaring me out of my wits. It seems she thought I was going too fast and was about to plow into the car ahead of us. Maybe I was going a bit faster than optimum speed, but I was not about to plow into any car. It took me several minutes to resume my previous heartrate as we drove kept looking for a place to start. I wondered if this was why she had done all the driving while she was here. Whatever.
“Hungry kids are cranky and want to leave.” Awesomez interjected wisely. She’s right, but I think in my excitement I would have just charged forward neglecting bathroom breaks. No matter, I fell in line with the Lisas.
Loretta, my navi, had a full breakdown when we got close to the farm. She had absolutely no data on this area and was close to hysterical. All we were provided was a dotted line. It was kind of like being in a video game. I took a left, as it looked like I should but the arrow turned away from the dots. We didn’t need a sense of direction what we needed was a gamer. We knew were getting close as the arrow consumed the dots on the screen. Henry provided the sound track. “Booop. Booop. Booop.” When we reached the right street we knew we’d made it to the next level.