As The Butter Churns

August 15th Rolling On De River

    The day had finally arrived to go tubing! To make sure we were there on time, Tom and I made our requisite run to Lowes™ early in the day.  We also had bills to mail, taco fix'ns to buy and so we hurried. The minute we got home, we jumped in our suits, grabbed our tubes and sped down to Acme to wait for the Donaldsons.

    We blew up the tubes, got some snacks and waited. We drove to Strand Road the drop off place for the car and called them. They were going to be even later – they went a different way and got lost. We played games like “Going On a Picnic” It seems there was a miscommunication. We waited for two hours. (Tom, Henry, Sam and Kimona kill time playing games)

    By the time the properly apologetic Donaldsons arrived it was simply too late to go. We couldn’t risk being on the river after dark. And because Lisa was working at the Emergency Clinic and Chris had a business trip to New York, we didn’t think we could go on Sunday. I felt terrible. After all that preparation,  Sam and Kimona were going to miss going.

Like every Hollywood ending - All was darkest before a lady told Chris  there was a short 1/2 mile run we could do. Something was better than nothing. We hopped in. The sun was hot and the water cool. The snowy mountains peered at us from the distance as we bobbed along with the current. (Kimona give it the thumbs up)

(Henry and Sam go head first)

(Quinn trying out the boy's method)

    A few minutes into the float there was a flurry of rescheduling. We’re all going again tomorrow – except Lisa (you just can’t blow off the Emergency Clinic)

(Tired but happy Sam)

(Packing in the Pheeb)

August 14th I Coulda Hada V8

(A stunning photograph of the Golden Gate bridge - by Teresa Reed-Jennings)

    We picked Tom up and headed to Lynden for the fair once again. The kids disappeared into the crowd with enough money to buy ride wristbands. Tom and I began browsing around the animal barns waiting to hook-up with the Donaldsons.

(Fair Meeting: Quinn, Phoebe, Tom, Henry, Kimona, Lisa and Sam - Chris must be off buying something to eat)

    We toured the booths, bought the massager I’d been eyeing, realizing there were parts of the fair we’d never seen. When we met back up with Lisa and Chris it was only moments before Chris ran back and fulfilled Quinn’s prophecy by getting a massager too.

    Henry and Sam showed up dizzy and light-headed from the spinning rides and the heat, it was clear they needed a “Moo-Wich”. The perfect medicine for their ailments apparently, because they were gone again. (Henry and Sam medicate with "Moo-wiches") (Quinn treasured her "Moo-wich") (Lisa thoroughly enjoyed the homemade experience)

    They didn’t show up again until they were broke. It seems our heroes learned a valuable lesson on the midway. Sam had some money. The two patsies were duped into spending close to $30.00 in “free” tries. I’d hoped it was a lesson learned, until Henry asked me for $2.00 to try the games on the other side “they’re better.”
(chariot races!)

(And Lucky Joe being steered like a boat- the same roping family from the other day)

    We ate and ate and ate BBQ, corn, unbelievably good beans and all sorts of fried food. Unfortunately we missed the deep fried Twinkies™ and Milkyways™ but there’s always next year.

(Hometown NASCAR Quilt)

August 13th The End Is Here

    I got up early and fired up the mixer. It seemed like I had the lion’s share of the path done, so I thought it would go fairly quickly. But just like that last box when you’re packing up your house to move – the end never seems to come. I worked endlessly in the hot August sun - for hours.

    I was not going to stop until I finished. I finished. And I was finished.

August 12th Little Surprises

    You know it’s going to be a bad day when you wake up and find your Anatolian shepherd has the squirts.

     I was unprepared for such an affront to my senses before my first cup of coffee. Covering each area with wads of paper towel, I opened the windows, got out the Febreeze™ turned on the morning Olympic coverage and brewed a pot of joe.

    As I settled down to take my first sip, Irish began scrambling for the door I leapt up to help him. Just as I was leashing Irish up, I realized puppy Bruno probably needed to go out too; I called his name. Like a bullet, Bruno came speeding down the stairs. Confused he turned and went the wrong way. I left Irish at the door while I picked Bruno to take him out with Irish. Not a wise decision. When prioritizing one should consider the consequences, Bruno peeing in the house: a puddle the size of sponge – my giant breed dog not being able to hold it, a lake the size of Erie.

    The day continued along these lines. I settled down again to have my coffee when a bat flew by my head. Immediately, I locked the assassin (Emmett) in my room. Not sure how to get the poor thing out I let him sleep in the dining room on the curtain rod and went back to my coffee.
(Bat on curtains in dining room)

   

I called Lisa about Irish and she said to give him a Tums™. "It might cause constipation."

    "Not a real concern."

     Still trying to get through my first cup, I read an email from my dad needing me to deal with an apparent credit card fraud situation in Paris. Fabulous.

   

    I worked on the cement walkway for hours. Mixing, molding,trowling, mixing, molding, trowling trying to get the path done before Tom arrives. I looked up to assess my work. I'd done about 50 feet. I could tell where I had stopped as the path was littered with Diet Coke™ cans. Too much soda.  I went in for water to find Irish and Bruno curled up on the sofa watching “Days of Our Lives”. Briefly I thought of switching it for them to “One Life to Live”, but went back to work. (our mixed up bat flying through the sun room and out the front door)

    (Sam's shot - would have been great if the can wasn't full of paint and he hadn't been aiming at the giant round bale of hay ten feet away)

    Most of the time, the kids would help me lift the 80lb bags up into the mixer, but they were busy working on a video they want to film. Not wanting to disturb them, not having a brain in my head and having visions of grandeur I chose to move the cement mixer by myself. It collapsed and fell on top of me. Pinned underneath and screaming for help that never came, I eventually wriggled out. Frantic, my head pounding, and my back aching I came inside fit to be tied.

    What I found was, three little deaf elves had cleaned my house. I still needed upward of four Advil™, but my mood drastically changed. They’d wanted to surprise me. Or they needed a clean set for their video – I’m not sure which, but I’m not asking too many questions.

   

August 11th My Fair Lady

 (shuttle)

    I piled Henry, Kimona, Sam, Quinn & Phoebe in the car and headed to opening day of the Northwest Washington Fair. We cruised around looking for inexpensive parking because I’m cheap. I’d rather spend my money on something more fun, like Cheese curds. Is there anything that says fair more than cheese curds? True fair food without any nutritional redemption, we had to have some as we meandered through the animal barns.

    We started with swine. I had high hopes of learning a lot about pigs from people who know about pigs. I was disappointed. The barn was great and the pigs were fine, the 4H kids kept the place immaculate. It’s just that it was a barn full of the same basic pig. You really didn’t get any variety – most simply said “cross-bred”

    Years ago, when Lisa and I lived in Brentwood, we’d go to community events held in Santa Monica on weekends. Cat shows, jewelry shows, rare coins, dog shows things like that. What I really enjoyed was learning about the different breeds or categories of things i.e. Maine Coons cats etc. Things you didn’t normally see.

    Henry was struck by the size of the pig teeth. He kept warning Phoebe to be more careful. (Goat barn)

    We moved on to goats and found some great 4H kids we discussed ways to feed more efficiently. Everyone agreed they waste a lot shaking their heads. I learned I am probably pampering them too much. I can cut back on alfalfa pellets and the amounts of hay I’m feeding.

    The boys jet off to the midway, “just to look”

The rest of us marched on to the sheep barn. Once again, not a lot of variety and so we stumbled into the wool demonstration area. There were spinners, looms and bags of wool a long the walls. It occurred to me, these were just the women to talk about my sheep wool with. I sold Apache’s fleece before I even put my note on the bulletin board. I met a woman who had been wanting to make a rug, but “You just don’t find Navajos or Leicesters anywhere near here. I’m sure they’ll go right away. How much do you want for it?”

    “You know, I’m not sure. I really don’t how much it goes for.”

    “Well, I want it and just let me know.” Ok then, that went well. (Phoebe weaving)

    We moved on to the hall of gadgets. You know the place; it’s swarm of salesman hawking things like super chamois and mops that use steam. A place filled with massagers and cookware demonstrations. I adore that place. I love listening to the sales pitch and if it weren’t for the fact that Tom would kill me I think I might buy everyone of them. My mom had every slicer, dicer and even a magnetic sponge thing so you could efficiently clean both sides of your window at once.

   

Phoebe, Quinn and Henry all want to bring their fathers back to the massage area. Quinn is sure Chris can’t resist a good massager. Tom on the other hand can, and will. There will have to be a lot of begging and perhaps tears if Henry and I are going to be successful on that front.

    After we watched all we could we went to the Homemaking arts and the
(fun with food)

(Kimona and Quinn examine quilts)

 poultry barn. Outside  we saw some Royal Palm heritage turkeys. As we were admiring them, two girls walked up “Hey look, at the really big chickens.” Seriously, we have a problem in this country. People are so far removed from our rural heritage.
  (Hamburg)

    I signed up on the poultry “wanted” board for Black Javas, Hamburgs and Dominiques. And went through Kimona's favorite barn - Rabbit. She fell in love with every single bunny. She was enthralled with their little paws and their ears. She liked their fur and their noses, She liked the big ones and the small ones. Her mother is in trouble. Sam and Kimona have high hopes of reversing the no pet policy. We'll see can Julie withstand the pressure of kids returning from the farm? Will she take pity on our little farm hands?

(Angora bunny- alias fluffy slipper)

    I needed a little rest, so I sat down under a tree admiring the beautiful day and watching the people. My phone rang. It was my friend, Doug, my old contractor.
“You’re at the fair with five kids? No other adults? And you think that’s fun?”
“Five kids is nothing. And one of them has just come back with a coffee for me.” I love child labor. Henry had emerged from the midway. He had proudly ordered me a coffee, paid for it and walked carefully back to my tree. (Henry with "Sacha", and "Daulhasser" and Sam with "Phelps" and "LeBron" - perhaps we've had the Olympics on a little too much? Is that possible?)

“I got it just the way the mamma like it. I ordered a drip with no room.” He grinned sheepishly.  Having sustenance I was ready to go. And off we went to the roping show. It was really fun. A whole family of champion ropers roped (13 year-old - I am very impressed having tried to get stubborn cattle back in the field and having failed miserably)

 twirled guns, did quick draws, shooting demonstrations, used a bullwhip blindfolded and threw knives.  (everyone held their breath when the blindfold went on)

After that we hit the draft horse barn and admired our friend, Dan Cramer’s Perchons. Kimona asked me “How do you know so many people? The guy with the horses, the goat lady. . .”

“Craigslist.” Phoebe answered. “She meets all her friends on Craigslist looking at animals or farm equipment.” She was right except for the nice lady at Lowes™ and the bank teller that looks like Marcia Brady grown up.
(Lady and owner)

    The time had gotten away from us and we had to get going, but we made one last stop at the Dog agility competition. We arrived just as one little girl started the course with her pup, Lady. Lady wasn't entirely sure what she was being asked to do. The course required Lady to sit and stay while the little girl ran around her three times. Lady just wanted to go with her owner and this couldn’t have been more frustrating for the girl. The special part about it was the crowd encouraging her, the girl had a wonderful the stick-to-it attitude and the understanding patience of the judge. We all laughed with her as she kept shoving Lady down harder and harder hoping Lady would understand this time. Lady was having none of it she just wanted love.

    As we made our way to the car, we looked back at the fair entrance and marveled at what we saw at 8:00PM on opening day. It’s really what we didn’t see that caught our breath. No crowds? No crowds. No crowds! All of us being from Los Angeles, we stood there and stared and shared in the moment. We all piled in the car in love with this place.

August 10th When It Rains

(Henry goes William Tell on a rotten round bale)

    We had many plans, we didn’t do this weekend. We were going to go to a
Civil war re-enactment at Hovander Park and to a Blues jamboree at the Deming Logging Show grounds, but it rained. Every time I mentioned going somewhere, the kids looked at me incredulously from the sofa wrapped in blankets still in their pajamas as the Olympics blared non-stop from the television. Rain doesn’t generally stop us, but it rained as hard as I’ve ever seen. Loud pounding rain that punished my metal barn roof seams creating drips and drabs all over my hay, which causes all sorts of rot.

(Irish makes sure Bruno doesn't steel his thunder)

   So the kids and I spent most of our time indoors playing Clue™ and Pictionary™ while we made Brown Sugar Peach ice cream (no one liked the chunks of peach) and tried our hand at Banana(Kimona learned pureeing doesn't mean squishing with your hands). None of us liked either as much as the Pumpkin Pie ice cream. Kimona is determined to try the Banana Maple recipe she saw in Hobby Farm™ magazine and she keeps muttering things like “Do you have a vanilla bean? Is heavy cream the same as whipping cream?”
(Sam after target practice)
    We did do a couple of things that marked the weekend. I spoke to my friend Russ who grew up on a farm in Ohio and he gave me tips on sheep and pigs (just in case).

    We mixed the goats, sheep and Miracle together. The goats it turns out are bullies. Rachel was constantly rearing up trying to establish her royalty and the goats, like the children stare blankly back wondering if she realizes they’re sheep. Miracle chased them around, but stopped every time I caught her. I’d yell “What do you think you’re doing?” and she’d come to an abrupt halt, put her head down and peer over at me. Guilty. I know this look. This is the same look I get from Henry when I ask him if he’s cleaned the cat box.
(Kimona covered more in cement than the walkway)

    Wayne came over and worked on the attic, taping seams, mudding and sanding. Kimona and I did some cement in the momentsbetween deluges while Sam practiced shooting and Henry honed his archery skills. We even did some laundry.
(Lloyd once again tries a taste of the cement - I have to once again rinse his mouth out in the baby pool before it hardens)

 

    As I was going to sleep, I noticed I hadn’t seen Alvin and Scarlett in some time. I put food in their dishes and waited. Only Emmett arrived on the scene. I went looking for them, but didn’t see them anywhere. I listened and heard the tiniest faintest mew. I followed the sound up into the attic. I looked around but neither cat was in view. I called their names and stood there listening, wondering where they could be. I heard the mew again. It was coming behind a small attic door that Wayne had screwed shut. They were entombed Indiana Jones style. I went and found a screw gun and opened the door. The noise must have freaked them out because they were nowhere to be seen. I propped the door open and went back to bed. Waiting. Suddenly, there they were on top of my dresser eating hungrily. Safe.
(kitty tomb)

    I tried impossibly to find a place to put my foot, to get comfortable, but it was no use. Henry is sleeping in my bed as Sam is in his. We also have to make room for a disgruntled Vivian a shivering Luther an angry Emmett (seriously annoyed at the arrival of Bruno, the rat-sized dog) and a snuggly Bruno under the covers. Deli is sleeping with Kimona and Irish is the only one currently acting like a dog sleeping on a dog bed. I lay in bed positioned like a pretzel listening to the rain as I thought about the men’s Olympic relay team beating the French. I wondered how that was going over in Paris. "Smash the Americans" huh? Au contraire mon ami.

August 9th Wet & Wild

   

(Birch Bay Water Park)

    

Today we decided to meet the Donaldsons and go tubing down the Nooksack River. It is reportedly a very gentle ride, but we are told of some deep parts in the channel where the occasional drowning occurs – mostly due to over-confidence and beer.

    Unfortunately, the weather didn’t cooperate; Acme was a breezy 68 degrees. The kids pleaded and the kids begged, hopeful I would re-think my parameters and deem it a “good enough-day”. They didn’t have a chance. The very idea of sitting in melted ice water for close to four hours when the sun was hiding behind a cloud and the ambient air was what I consider sweater weather wasn’t going to happen.

    As a consolation, we decided to pack ourselves in the car and head for the water park in Birch Bay. I wasn’t sure why we were going to do this, as I didn’t think it was warm enough for a bathing suit period. But I heard screams of delight and gratitude, so off we went.

    We pulled up to the modest water park, a stark contrast to “Hurricane Harbor” a giant glamorous water park. Instead, I heard amazement. Kimona couldn’t believe how many parking spaces there were and how few people.
  (Henry and Sam don't even wait for tubes) (Quinn & Phoebe head up with their tubes)
(Phoebe!)
(Phoebe loving it)

    I watched for a while hesitant to get in the water.

“What about all the urine in the water?” I questioned Lisa.

“Oh, just keep your mouth shut and think about the chlorine.” She responded practically.

“Pee? People pee in the water?” Quinn was suddenly horrified by the thought.

 Covered in goose bumps, I started for the top. Discourteous people splashed water on my back. Quinn laughed at me,” This is a water park Denise.” This did not mean manners should be left at the entrance.

I went up the steps listening to parents lie to their small gullible children.

    “The water will feel warm.”

    “You can shield yourself from the wind with your tube.”

    “This is the coldest part.”

I knew none of this was true.
(The way up)

I got in my tube and as I suspected, the water was not warm. I zoomed down. Zipped around turns slid up walls having an incredible time. At the end, I was still cold, even colder but excited for the next run and the next. We went single, we went double, we went triple, we laughed, Quinn screamed and we even capsized. (Me! with skin that has forgotten the sun)

(Lisa, Kimona and the Pheebe)

(Chris getting a talk on how not to capsize)

(Me and Quinn)

(Phoebe, Kimona and Lisa ride again)

One slide was completely dark. (completely dark inside)

It reminded me of one of my very favorite rides, Space Mountain™ at Disneyland™. I endured the cold as we marched up to the top time after time, and then I didn’t mind the cold. Especially after I discovered the Henry and Sam lounging in the Jacuzzi. Naturally “Spa-boy” would seek out the creature comforts.

(The Spa boys - Henry and Sam)